I share many of your observations. My frustration boils over too when I see people who need help; but, can't get it while other people seem to be exploiting the system. I don't believe this is done by accident. I also believe it can be changed. I favor initiatives like the work-fare programs of some states where recipients of public assistance provide a service of value to a government agency. The bottom line is that aid should not be the same as wholesale support. We should not be rewarding unproductive citizenship. I understand people need a hand up from time to time. We've let it be a system of waste and corruption that is trying to actively get people living off the government in order to justify tax policy. It's immoral (ought to be illegal) and it has to stop.
When will it change? That depends on whether we ever get an independent in the White House or not. Neither Republicans or Democrats will change this. They both profit from the system that is in place.